Geek Noise
Rants, rambles, news and notes by Peter Provost
28

Two Weeks as a Caregiver

Monday, 28 September 2009 06:55 by Peter Provost

The last two weeks have been… interesting. Last month my wife Emily was diagnosed with very early breast cancer. It is simply amazing what modern imaging can find. The tumor was just a smudge on the images. A biopsy found something that was less than 1mm in side and had to get sent to Vanderbilt for diagnosis. The diagnosis was micro-invasive ductal carcinoma in her left breast.

Ugh. She’s 36.

Because of family history she opted for a double simple mastectomy with reconstruction including the sentinel node on the left side. In the weeks leading up to the surgery, as we prepared emotionally for it all, the most amazing thing happened. Meghan, Em’s sister, organized a huge operation of helpers and friends to do everything from bringing us food to picking up the kids after school. I simply can’t say enough how much we appreciate all the help our amazing friends and family gave us during this time. Thank you thank you thank you.

The surgery was two weeks ago and it went great. Sentinel node came back clear which means it didn’t spread. Woot! We spent the first night in the hospital which is fine, I’ve done that enough times. The hospital has good Wi-Fi so when Em wasn’t awake I goofed off on my laptop playing WoW or something else.

The pain levels Em experienced were a bit more than we had expected, so we had to work a bunch to get the right mix of painkillers to keep her comfortable. After going home, the game continued. As her primary caregiver, I had to figure out how to track and manage all her pills, which was a bit daunting at first. Geek that I am, I eventually came up with a cool Excel printout that I put in the bathroom.

It looked like this (I used it vertically--the time went top-to-bottom):

 Emily-Drug-Schedule

Nerdy? Yes. Effective? HELL YES! I had alarms set on my phone and on my bedside alarm clock that reminded me every time we had to do something. It was kinda nutty, but for that first week it helped immensely. One thing you don’t want to do after major surgery is fall behind on the pain. It can be almost impossible to catch up without pushing the limits on some of the drugs and it can seriously slow down recuperation if the patient is in major pain.

The other thing we had to do is what they call “strip the drains”. After the surgery, Em had two tubes coming out of her sides that went to little vacuum reservoirs to collect the fluid. Every few hours (at first) I had to drain the reservoirs and wring out the tubes to remove any clots that may have formed. Kinda yucky work, but it needed to happen. She also had a cool little “pain pump” installed that directly sent local anesthetic into the wound site via two little wiry tubes. Once the pain pump ran out, I got the job of removing the wires. I was just a bit startled how much tubing was inside her… almost 8 inches! It was kinda fun pulling them out. Hehe…

Sidenote: When you’re doing the drain stripping, be really REALLY careful to not tug on the tubes or your wife will try to kick you out of the house regardless of how much meds she has on board. You have been warned. :)

As the first week ramped down, the pain got much more under control. We started dropping off the schedule at night and went to a mode on-demand kind of thing. During the day I still tried to stick with it as best I could. The amount of fluid coming out dropped a lot during this time as well, which was good. The doctors has said we wouldn’t have the drains out until we were at less than 25cc in 24 hours. (At first we would get more than 25cc in 3 hours per side!)

During the second week, Em still spent most of her time in bed but was much more able to get up and move around the house. She was on milder pain meds too so she was a lot less loopy which she liked. We still had amazing support coming in daily from our friends and family… food, snacks, toys and kidcare. Another huge shout out to everyone who helped.

Exactly two weeks after the day of surgery we went back in to the plastic surgeon who was doing the reconstruction. Recovery was going well, swelling is low and they decided to take the drains out and add more fluid to the tissue expanders that were implanted during surgery.

“It will feel like when you had your braces tightened as a kid.” Hmmm… not too bad.

BULLSHIT! At least for Emily it was a bit more than that. She had to go back onto Vicodin for two days to get through it, but now she’s back to simpler stuff which makes us both happy.

Looking into the future we can expect them to add more saline to the expanders for a few more weeks (which Em isn’t looking forward to), then a few months to let it all settle down. After that, the expanders come out and in another surgery they replace them with traditional saline implants.

I started back to work today which is both good and bad. Good to be getting back to a sense of normalcy. Bad because I have to catch up on two weeks of shit that happened while I was gone. Oh well… things could be much worse.

In addition to all the thanks I want to heap on all those who helped us during this time, I also was to say loudly how proud I am of Emily. She has been such a trooper through all this and she amazes me every day. Emily I love you more than anything else in the world.

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29

Rules of the Road

Thursday, 29 January 2009 03:24 by Peter Provost

http://realestatetomato.typepad.com/the_real_estate_tomato/F_St.jpgI was digging through my OneNote today, organizing stuff and reading old notes and whatnot, when I found a page I wrote on 7/13/2006. I don’t know why I wrote it in OneNote, but it is something I’ve talked about to my direct reports, colleagues and others for a long time.

It was simply titled “Rules of the Road” and had the following content:

  1. Don't stress out about things you can't control - ignore them
  2. Don't stress out about things you can control - fix them
  3. Confront someone as soon as you recognize the problem - don't let it fester!
  4. Help people who sincerely ask for help
  5. Fight for what you believe in
  6. Admit when you are wrong
  7. Reserve the right to change your mind
  8. You do NOT have to justify saying no to someone

My dad taught my 1-3 when I was growing up. He had ulcer issues as a younger man because he let stress build up too much. Those rules help you get grounded when you feel stressed and show you simple ways out, even when, as in Rule #1, the out is to ignore the issue.

Numbers 4-5 are extensions I’ve added over time to help me guide my life. Help your friends. Admit when you make a mistake. Do not be afraid to change your mind. Don’t let other people convince you that “flip flopping” in the presence of new information is somehow bad. When you know better, do better.

The final one is the newest addition to the family. Sometimes many people, when presented with a request they has to say no to, will seek a rationalization or a story that they can use to justify saying no. Here’s the thing… you don’t have to justify saying No. You shouldn’t be rude, you should be always polite and respectful, but you can just say, “No, I’m sorry but I can’t,” and leave it at that.

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18

Happy Birthday My Lovely Wife

Friday, 18 July 2008 02:35 by Peter Provost

peter and em in sydney Today is Emily’s 35th birthday. She is the light of my life. Elegant, smart, funny, witty and fun to be with. A great mom, wife, sister and daughter. She makes everyone around her laugh and have fun.

I can’t imagine life without you Em.

Happy Birthday!

Update: Emily made me change the pic to one she likes better. LOL. This is us in Sydney in 2006.

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09

Using Lightbox with BlogEngine.net and Windows Live Writer

Wednesday, 9 July 2008 16:56 by Peter Provost

I’ve been wanting to get Lightbox installed on here since I started using the new blog engine. I found René Kuss’ Lightbox Extension which adds the Lightbox 2 code to the blog at runtime. He also wrote a Thumbnailer extension that will autogenerate a thumbnail if you put some glop in the img src attribute.

But since I’m a Windows Live Writer user, I didn’t like having to tweak the image URL every time I posted. A bit more digging uncovered Jesse Foster’s Lightbox Extension that is specifically designed for WLW, but it used old Lightbox 1 code and I wanted to use the new 2.0 fanciness.

Then today I discovered the Technical Preview of the next version of Windows Live Writer. Lo-and-behold, it now supports adding the rel=”lightbox” tag to images! Perfect.

UPDATE 2008-12-01: The Beta is out and it has the Lightbox features. Keep an eye on the LiveWriter blog for up-to-date release information.

Here are a few pics of my kids to confirm that it is working as expected.

Hadley's new haircut  Finn's Christmas   H and F together... being nice to each other

To enable this, I installed René’s Lightbox Extension for BlogEngine.net (see above) to get the scripts and such into the HTML stream. Then just I simply use WLW’s new Link To dialog for images to enable Lightbox for the image.

image

The “Group” field will make it a Lightbox group, which lets you use the arrows to scroll from within the Lightbox popup.

EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED! Thanks Windows Live Writer Team! Now if only I could talk you guys into using standard (or configurable) keyboard shortcuts for typical formatting, we’d be golden.

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09

TuxPaint - A Children's Drawing Program

Wednesday, 9 July 2008 03:44 by Peter Provost

starter-coloringbook-tThis morning my daughter wanted to stay home and draw while her mother took her brother to the doctor. Since I need to be in the office working today, I said to her, "Let's find a good drawing program for kind for the computer!"

She was gung-ho with that, and a few minutes later we found TuxPaint. As you can see in the screenshot on the right, it has nice big colorful icons, a simple color palette, and is very easy to use. You can also download a number of "stamps" with different shapes, animals, icons, etc.

She's been coloring away now for more than an hour.

Download and Info: http://www.tuxpaint.org/ 

If your kids are younger or you need something a bit simpler, you should take a look at Scott Hanselman's BabySmash! It is great, but you may want to buy a second keyboard for the kid to bang on. Smile

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22

In Redmond for the next week

Sunday, 22 June 2008 13:00 by Peter Provost

Time for another trip home to the mother ship for my monthly dose. I'll be in building 25 all week and staying at my (still unsold) house in Sammamish. Looking forward to some quality face time with my team.

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25

Changes for me

Monday, 25 February 2008 05:55 by Peter Provost

Someone pointed out today that I hadn't been blogging lately (guilty as charged) and that I hadn't blogged anything at all about recent changes in my work life.

A year ago, various personal and family issues led me to make a promise to my wife that I would move her back to Denver. We've enjoyed Seattle a lot, but with her Lupus and other things, she needed to be closer to her family. This led me to start looking around for opportunities that would let me get back to Denver.

Long story short, I have moved on from P&P and am now working as a Program Manager on the Visual Studio Team System Architect Edition product. This role will allow me to live in Denver and work remotely most of the time. I still plan to be back in the Redmond area every month or two, though.

We're doing some really exciting stuff on the VSTS-AE product at the moment that I'm really looking forward to sharing with you all soon, so please stay tuned. I think I feel my blogging genes firing up again. :)

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14

Happy Birthday Sis!

Monday, 14 January 2008 13:52 by Peter Provost

Happy Birthday to my wonderful sister Michelle. You are a great sis, a great mom, smart business woman and a good friend. Hopefully we can all get back together soon. Love you.

--Peter

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02

Ummm... what? I'm it? (aka I've Been Blog-Tagged!)

Tuesday, 2 January 2007 14:15 by Peter Provost

It is funny. You take a break from blogging (reading and writing) and when you come back, strange things have happened.

Apparently I was tagged by Sam Gentile in the new game of Blog-Tag. And now I am supposed to write down five things about myself that people probably don't know and then tag five other people.

Ummm... okay...

  1. My first computer was a Ohio Scientific Challenger 4P (circa 1979 - age 10) on which my explorations of computer programming began. From there we moved to an Apple II+ (1980), then some kind of an Apple II clone that would dual-boot a CP/M z80 machine (~1982). After that came a long line of Intel PC machines that led to my current life as a Microsoft development manager. :)
  2. I played the French Horn as a kid when we lived in Maadi Egypt, a suburb of Cairo (Shout out to my CAC friends!). When we moved from Egypt to Denver, however, there was only a marching band and not a symphonic band, so I quit. Tried piano later, then moved to guitar. Eventually played in a few bands: a "power punk" band called Harrison and a fusion/jazz/groove band called Savvy Backbone.
  3. I never intended to be a professional software developer. In fact, despite having been programming since I was 10, I resisted it at every turn. When I started as a freshman at Colorado State University I majored in Physics, then Political Science, then Sociology, then dropped out and moved to Edmonton to load trucks at my uncle's company. After a year in the freezing cold of the Canadian north, I decided that perhaps I should go back to college. This time I decided to go ahead and study something easy... like computer programming. But still I resisted. I didn't want to get a job. I wanted to go to grad school and become a professor. After graduating, however, my good friend Mark Day talked me into submitting my resume to one of his clients. I landed the job and as my dad told me, "Once the money starts coming in, it is impossible to leave it and go back to school."
  4. Speaking of Egypt, when we lived there I went on a trip to Alexandria with a friend's famliy. His dad worked for the US Army as a helicopter pilot teaching the Egyptian army about their new Chinook CH-47s. One day Jamie and I went for a walk into the market and found a guy selling really cool WWII howitzer shells that they found in the desert. It didn't cost much, so we bought it and carried it back to the villa we were staying in. Needless to say, Jamie's dad freaked out. It was a live shell. And it was 40 years old. Whoops. He kicked everyone out of the house and called the police. We didn't get our money back. (On a related note, I will never forget when Jamie's dad took us up for a flight around the desert in one of those birds... amazing!)
  5. At my sister's wedding, the rehersal dinner was at a nice restaurant here in Seattle (she lived here back then). Since it was Seattle and not landlocked Denver, I decided to have a nice slab of seared Tuna. Mmmmm.... first bite... excellent. Second bite? better. Third bite... ummm... wait... what's that? There was something small, round, hard, and... metallic in my mouth. I spit it out onto the plate... and it was a bullet. Yes, a .38 caliber full-metal jacket slug. Now, I know Tuna are big fish, but I didn't know that they shot them after hauling them aboard ship. Now I know better. (And yes, I still have the bullet.)

Since I have to tag five more people, here is my list... I wonder how many of them will actually pay attention to this and follow-through?

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03

My Outlook TRAF System

Monday, 3 July 2006 09:16 by Peter Provost

Back when I was in the consulting world, I got a lot of email. Or so I thought. Then I came to Microsoft.

The amount of email I get here—and I'm not talking about junk mail—is unbelievable. Microsoft is an email driven culture. And that is fine, it works for the most part, but it does require adjustments to how you deal with it.

Somewhere along the way my wife taught me a system for organizing stuff that she called FAT: File, Act, Toss. It was about focusing your attention on the right things, but it always felt slightly lacking.

When I was involved in a startup, one of my business partners loaned me one of those “personal productivity” courses on CD (sorry… I don't remember which one). I spent a month or so listening to them in the car, but only some of it stuck. One of the two things that really stuck was a thing called TRAF, which re-ordered the FAT system a bit and introduced Refer as the second option in the workflow.

Putting Toss at the front felt very right to me. I'm kind of famous as a development lead for saying “nothing makes me happier than deleting code”, so it shouldn't be all that surprising to find that I also enjoy deleting email.  So, I loosely applied it to my email, but didn't really get aggressive about  it. I basically kept my old way of doing things in place--lots of folders, rules, etc.--with a little bit of a prioritization system on top. And for the most part it worked.

But as my responsibilities here at Microsoft have grown, so has the volume of email I receive. As a result, the system I've been using is starting to show scaling problems. Too many folders that aren't actually helping me find things, too many items in my Inbox, and most importantly a feeling that I'm losing control of it. So I've been spending a lot of time over the past month or so talking to different people about how they organize their email.

Many people just keep a giant Inbox folder with no real plan, and depend on search and sort to find what they want. If something scrolls of the top page, it may get lost and not dealt with, but that is just how they work it. Others have very complex folder structures where every thing has a special place. Brad Wilson and I used to have frequent discussions about this stuff. Folders or no folders? Search folders or a good search engine? Categories? Unread flagging? The options are endless.

But I kept coming back to TRAF. After Brad left the patterns & practices team, he started similar discussions with a PM on his team named George Bullock. George had also spend a lot of cycles thinking about how to solve this problem and had come to his own conclusions. Apparently Brad shared some of my TRAF ideas with him and it sounds like it influenced his thinking based on this recent blog post.

After reading George's post, I've been putting together a new system for myself. Unlike George, who replaces File with Follow-up, I stick with the literal definition of TRAF: Toss, Refer, Act, File. I use TRAF as a preprocessing system for managing my Inbox.  It is about triage--the act of sorting things into a priority list in an efficient and effective manner. From wikipedia:

Simple triage is used at the scene of a mass casualty incident to choose patients who require immediate transport to the hospital to save their lives as opposed to patients who can wait for help later. First aiders performing field triage on the battlefield or at a disaster site usually do not need to assess resources until transportation becomes available.

As George points out, the challenge comes with dealing with the Act part of the process. Even with this pre-processing approach there is still too many things that are in the “Act” category. So much of my process (and his) is about dealing with that problem.

So let me show you how I have decided to implement my email triage system...

When an email arrives, it starts as an unread message in the Inbox folder. Periodically during the day, I execute the following process on the Inbox, focusing primarily on the Unread ones.

  1. Toss: Can this message be deleted? If so, then delete it. Yes, I mean deleted. As I mentioned above, I'm not one of those people who thinks I need to keep every email that is ever sent to me.
  2. Refer: Can this message be handed off to someone else? As George rightly points out in his post, this is different than having something that you must act on that requires help. This is about actually giving this problem to someone else.
  3. Act: This is my problem. I have to deal with it. There are two alternatives:
    • Immediate: It must be dealt with now. Do it and then mark it as read and move it to the Archive folder.
    • Not Immediate: Flag it with a priority flag and mark it as read. Leave it in the Inbox. Since I'm using Outlook 2007 for my email, I have the nice new Priority flags labeled Today, Tomorrow, This Week, Next Week or Custom. I don't know if I need custom or not, we'll see.
  4. File: I can't delete it, it isn't someone else's problem and I don't need to do anything, so file it away by marking it as read and moving it to the Archive folder.

That is pretty much it.

A couple of times in there I mentioned the Archive folder. Here at Microsoft we have a policy that only allows a very small amount of stuff on the Exchange server. Whether this is to encourage us to get rid of old mail or because the guys in IT don't want to deal with the disk space, I don't know. Regardless, this makes us use the Outlook Auto Archive feature aggressively.

But this system really depends on the Inbox being the place where I keep my TODO list. I don't want Auto Archive coming along and grabbing stuff that I haven't done yet and moving to my Archive.pst file. So, I introduce an Archive folder underneath the Inbox and move items there when they are ready to be filed. I configure my Auto Archive rules to process this Archive folder and to ignore the Inbox.

Astute readers will see that I don't describe any other folders in this system. That is correct. No folders. For non-mailing list mail, I've given up on folders. (For mailing lists I use Inbox Rules to move them into folders, one-per-list.)

The next part of this whole new process is about metadata tagging. If you think about the problem I was trying to solve with  folders, it was about having a way other than searching to find things when I need them. Search is good, but sometimes you have other information you can apply and you should be able to apply it.

New in Outlook 2007 is a unified Categories system shared between the components where items can have more than one category assigned to them easily and clearly. Just as you can easily right click on an email and assign it a flag, you can right click and assign one or more categories. So my intent is to create a set of categories to use to help me when I want to do this kind of searching.

My straw-man category list looks like this right now, but I suspect I will make changes to it once I figure out how I use it. I do know that I probably want it fairly short, but I also want it to be fairly inclusive.

  • Personal
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Projects
  • Dev Team
  • Group (p&p)
  • Division
  • Corporate
  • Public Speaking
  • Training
  • Legal
  • OOF Me
  • OOF Others

One thing to remember, and a thing that is challenging me to get this category list right, is that the category list is shared between the all the components in Outlook (mail, appointments, contacts, etc.). So it is hard to get this right. Things like the two OOF categories are for providing visual queues to calendar items, but may also be applied to emails by my team members when they tell me about their time off. (For that example, I would probably also have the Dev Team and Projects categories on the message as well… I'm not sure.)

The thing that worries me about these categories is that I'm worried that I won't actually use them. But the plus side of this possibility is that I think the new Outlook 2007 search is very good and will suffice. Again, only time will tell. I hope I use them and I hope they help.

One other technique that I like from George's system (I'm not sure he mentioned this in his blog post) is to use Search Folders to help with all of this. Again, I'm not sure exactly what folders I'll use, but this looks like a reasonable starting point:

  • Act Today
  • Act Tomorrow
  • Act This Week
  • Act Next Week

I'm considering a search folder per category, but I'm going to hold off on that until I see if Search is good enough. I know you can do it, I just don’t know if I need it.

So, this is the system I'm going to use this year. It probably seems a bit insane to use less organization for more email, but I actually think it is going to work quite well. One thing that I already see that would  be a nice feature (perhaps I'll write an Addin for this) is to be able to easily do a search & replace on categories. I use this in Quicken all the time when I reorganize my finances, and I suspect that will be the feature that enables me to be a bit more agile about my category list.

Questions? Comments? Fire away. I'd love to hear what you think.

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